Omar Samad

zen

There are many ways to explain what zen is and before I experienced it I had a pretty sound explanation, now I know it means nothing.
I just returned from the Anataji Monestary which was a 4km hike into the mountains of Hamasaka, what an amazing place, I just wish I had more time to spend with the monks there. I was there for 2.5 days, but every moment added to the experience of a lifetime. Lucky to find one of the rare Zen temples that accept foriegners the head monk here was actually a foriegner.

The stairs.. after reaching the top of the mountain, which was one of the most beautifull hikes in my life, I came to a giant stairway of stone, that led upwards even more so. I couldnt get over the spectacular beauty of the place, I met this Japanese girl on the bus and she also was on her way to stay a few days. We were greeted by some friendly faces in the kitchen area when we first arrived. Got the tour and setup our quarters for the time being. There was 8 people in total, and interestingly enough many of them spoke english, however it didnt really matter much as there was no talking unnecessarily during the whole duration of when i was there.

03:45 was the wake up call for morning saZen (silent sitting). There was a monk running up and down the hall waving a bell, and it was almost like part of my dream waking up ina black room hearing this sound and footsteps, especially in such a foriegn place. saZen started at 04:00 we silently filed into the hall and then we took our place for meditation. I was uncomfortablefor the last part of the hour some tightness in my hips were controlling my thoughts, and I was consumed. there was a 15min walking meditation which was like the slowest walk you could ever imagine, a half a step every 4-5s .. after this, and then we followed that by another 45minutes of saZen which was much better. “STOP IT” yelled the docho-san which scared me so much, and pretty sure evryone else, it was like a slap in the face to wakeup, he was yelling at this one guy that was yawning during the walking meditation steps and i remember that clearly cuz i was looking right at him while he was yawning.lol

Initially I was still in awe, and never felt my seat of power during each of these sittings, and we broke up for breakfast. Now also when we conduct ourselves in the Monestary there is no talking at all, unless its a relative question. and most of the time we could easily follow suit to what others do as that is the way of Zen, to be aware of the surroundings .. to be aware of everything. Meals was like a race, there was a strict code of ettiquette that must be followed, from placing the chopsticks over the miso soup bowl, to the positioning of all the bowls in front of you. and it was imperative that everything must be followed. and how u sat. the chants done before and after every meal, and especialy when there was no snacking in between, and from the hard work inbetween the aura that was created while we waited and chanted reminded myself of how fortunate we are to have this food to eat, this water to drink. The monks that live here grow everything themselves, they have no money for personal possessions, or anything else, they just exist to swim in the wonderfull bliss that life is, right in the heart of the earth away from the maddening cities and tucked away from destructive power of humans .. for now. It was a magical place.

We were all assigned work, and I was paired up with the girls, Tomoyo-san, and Shinako-san. I dont know why but .. it always seems im paired up with girls naturally.. lucky me!!
our task for the morning was to chop firewood for the kitchen, which was small. So we made our way to the barn where the wood was, and we began. At first I was struggling with it using a strange technique I didnt have the flow. The monk came up to me grabbed the axe, and put a new piece of wood up, and showed me. Nara ho di neigh (I understand) I said to myself, and he made his way to continue on with what he had to do. I instantly found the hand of zen, as I watched myself do the rest, and it became a meditation as we silently worked on chopping and placing the wood up on the shelf, we had a tea break, and a lunch break, the lunch break was informal, and we were allowed to eat in the kitchen and not the dining room, however being such a beautifull day I decided to eat outside suprisingly I was the only one who wanted to eat outside which was fine by me, and what a fantastic idea as per usual, I lost the track of time, just being amazed at how beautifull it was up there, there was a distant sound of water coming from the nearby moutain stream. So back into the hall for instructions, this time we were set to harvest buckwheat and Atzuki (sweet beans). Which was so fun, under the blazing sun I went inside to get one of those Trinangle hats and it felt so kool!! like those hats are so good for keeping the sun off, and made me feel like jubei .. kibagami jubei. hehe and again while we worked in silence I found the mind of zen as the work became timeless and a pleasure to be of service.

15:00 officially done work, and time for showering, now this time, waking up so early in the day, kinda played off with my bodys schedule and I didnt have time to take a proper shit, so I wasnt feeling that good about it now, and decided to get it out, I did some yoga thats designed to get it all out and things started moving!! and shortly after took a nice hot shower, and wow just feeling amazing now!! We soon after ate. And this was an intesne meal, I mean, after working all day, we built up somewhat of a hunger for this, and when it came time to chant before we ate, to thank the universe for allowing us to eat, really resonated with me and I could feel the aura around me amoung everyone, the paitence we endured, and then finally .. Ikadakimass !! (Something like lets begin this meal together) after the meal and at the evening tea ceremony I announced that it was a honour to be welcomed into their house and to learn their way of life, and it was my final night here.

An hour and a half later, we began the evening saZen and this is where it got interesting to me, part of the way of zen in saZen is that you sit with your eyes open, and it was different to me, and finally it sat with me .. im not sure about when it was time wise, but I remember just looking at the wall and in my peripheral vision I could swear the lights were dimming and returning to normal, .. I didnt move a CM to check, but I could still see this.. wierd, and then also what was even more interesting I started to hallucinate .. yes thats right, i could see a pair of pants in the wall in front of me .. and there was a pattern of leaves that were around the crotch area.. and they were waving slightly .. like regardless ive felt this sensation before through meditation and it was amazing to be reminded of it once again, I had to close my eyes now to be sure of it, but I did, and wow.. it was there. those colourfull shapes and patterns you see when you take magic mushrooms.. (from what i hear anyways) wow, it still amazes me thinking about it, and I couldnt stop smiling now, this was it.. my seat of power is what I call it also I had tears streaming down my face, my awareness was back at one with every part of my being, I could see everything so clear, and bearing witness to all the love that exists in my life, the people around me, the connection I have with people, the energy in this room, that poor little boy and his family that I sponsor, the faces of time that paved the footsteps in my life. Shortly after .. the sound of the meditation bell rang, and it was time to leave the hall and prepare for bed. wow was it really over??! Honestly it didnt feel like it had been an hour, and I was left with this feeling .. I couldnt stop smiling, and I went into the kitchen for a cup of sencha and then I was outside under the stars..

wow, it was truly incredible out here, just as amazing as it ever had been in my life. we were on a 4km high mountain, so i wrapped myself up in a blanket or 2, and layed there with my tea. Then there it was!! it wasnt the biggest one ive ever seen, that was actually in Australia when me and Karryn were laying there looking at them, im still sad that she didnt see it at the same time, but this night, hehe was ahlg 3/4 that size and that is pretty big so prolly like 6 or 7 dots of stars connected to make a line, thats how big, pretty big eh?!!? after my tea I retired to my room. and stayed for my final night.

The mysteries of Zen revealed themselves to me during my time there. faces of the nameless monks that vibrated throughout the universe as I stepped into their path.. it was a very profound reason that I was here with them, it all was meant to be. I remember on my journey up I was worried abit that I had taken a wrong bus, and I did actually so I was behind schedule by 45min .. but I remember saying to myself that if it was meant to be it will be. and truly it was. The time there didnt give me a chance to think about anything. the time gave me the chance to remember that nothing really matters .. everything that really exists is a preception of