Omar Samad

So i’ve finally slept off a bit of the jet lag from travelling, got back to my home in London. So was a bit of fun hanging out in the morning trying to get into my flat, after making a few calls managed to get in touch with the only flat mate left here and he kindly came home to let me in. To make things even better the boiler was broken so no hot water or heating, lucky for me I live right beside the club, I crashed hard and woke up just before midnight. Went for a bit of a walk and noticed there was a light on at Thuk’s restaurant, but for some reason I didn’t go in to say hi, I thought that maybe they were just cleaning up or something. So I carried onto the park where the fireworks were and made a few calls too on the way. Also I saw an omen on the way to the park and even was there on the way back.

I feel good, I stopped into say hi at Thuk’s restaurant today and had dinner there. She was so upset with me that I didn’t stop in to say hi last night I felt ashamed of myself. I really did, they were there till 4am last night and were even trying to call me to tell me about the party. I even had a suspicion there was something going on – but at that time just felt like walking alone for a bit. All the girls were there too today and it was so nice to see them again! she made me my favourite dish and brought me 3 different desserts after! we talked a lot and I really want to learn more Thai sometime I hear them talking and saying my name and giggling all the time! It’s so nice to feel the love and spend time with people that make me feel special. It was like that when I was home as well. So nice to be with my family, the nostalgia of walking through the woods, typical me as usual my head was in the clouds the whole time but who could blame me – she’s the type of woman that makes life worth living for. It was such a blissful night, the moon was full and the air was cold and crisp. We went to some place she knew of that was actually pretty far out from the city – spooky and magical at the same time. We walked and talked and all of a sudden we heard something in the distance, and it was just so amazing to hear it the wolves calling. They stopped after a few moments and we carried on our way, all of a sudden we heard the calling again – but this time it was so much more closer and there were 5 of them. We could even hear some rustling in the bushes, it was a bad situation we had to run for our lives firstly and secondly find out which way we were going, she had the idea of following the moon as it was in the direction where we parked so in a panic we did, and run we did the whole time we could feel them chasing us and getting closer and closer, we could see the road and quickly got into the car an irst time I could ever remember being hunted by wolves,and it was a big sigh or relief when we did. We pulled away slowly and down the path all we could see was glowing eyes. I took her to that spot after that adventure and it was just so nice laying there with her under the moon and stars at that place – one of the most amazing moments in my life.

On my last day at home, I spent the day with two of my best friends. We met in the afternoon for a delicious lunch at one of those trendy juice bars. Then it was to ACK Computers, where we spent some time, then over to Andreas’s pad where we chilled big time, played some kabuddie then listened to an audio CD – the power of now, did some yoga – chanting and meditation, chilled and enjoyed the last few moments together. The audio CD was actually pretty neat it started out as a background thing, but we were all pretty into it and very refreshing to have a discussion about it and get some thoughts and ideas flowing – the only time we ever have is right now!!!

Right now I feel so good, I spent some time meditating and thinking about things, what’s important to me, just enjoying the time here, fun things to do. I finished reading this book – tales of power, I always get to near the end of the book and I never want to finish, part of me is sad that the story is over but that’s just me. The predilection of a warrior.

Well today was a pretty good day actually, I woke up around 14:35 and I was so happy when I saw the sun shine brightly today, I got out of bed and started to get ready as fast as I could, it feels as if I haven’t seen the sunshine for days, weeks even.

I made an omlet with mushrooms and peppers and had some grapefruit and yoghurt made it such a good start, I just felt the need to go back to that park and lay in the sun as long as I could. I left the house around 15:00 or so and jogged down to the park, Im still feeling a bit light headed recovering from this cold/flu whatever it is I had, but I feel like im functioning normally again now.

Just as I got to the park the sun was already on its way down, but there was a good few moments where it just shone on my face, i’ll really have to chase it next time. I made my way down to the far side of the park as I’ve never been there before and I saw someone doing some boxing shadow drills I was just thinking to myself I dont know what it is about this guy but something seems special, as I walked past he said hello and kindly introduced himself to me and told me some of his tale.

He was a former feather weight world champion boxer and was just keeping his game up in the park, so its very good for me to meet him as I just started my training at this park as well and he was very keen to do some work with me, he was actually pretty keen on introducing me to some boxing moves and training.

So we set the date of next Friday to meet here and we’ll get too it, hope its not so cold out there

So this morning was something magical to me, I’ve been at my cousins northeast coast of england, one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. It started off wonderfully with seeing two of the most gorgeous girls in the world after 3 years! My two little neices, they’ve grown so much. My cousin here has the same bug I do, racquet sports and what is it we do when we get together ?? we made our way down to the table tennis club., squash in the evening.

My cousin and I played and played and it was so much fun. We’re pretty evenly matched so we had some amazing rallies and very close scoreline. There was a table beside us and two young lads were playing each other as well, and I even stopped a few times to watch their rallies. When during one of those moments one of the boys fathers asked me if I would hit with his son for a moment. I have never been so honoured in my life to step on court with someone. We started playing and it was such a joy for me to see someone so excited, and trying their best. There was a rally where he was stretching me side to side and I was hanging on by sheer luck alone, and I ended up losing it and he earned it. It made me feel so happy to see such a smile on his face, his parents faces .. It made me cry. That moment I just felt so thankful for everything in my life.

The two boys were both in wheelchairs, and it touched me so deeply to see how strong willed they were and continuing sport no matter what. Being part of that will for just a few moments was magical and reminds me that I am so lucky to be gifted such a beautiful body, health and to be loved. Sometimes even I take my health for granted and this reminder really humbles me within myself again.

Nothing can ever be taken for granted, for everything can turn to dust in an instant, appreciate everything for what it is in the moment because that is really all we have.

OK, so Was just having a lil time to myself after rolling through 4 episodes of Battle Star Galactica tonite, season 4 !! man, i was in tears for lots of parts in it !!! heheh before i get side tracked, i just want to drop a note about what actually motivated me tonite to write about it.

So about actually 1 week ago, there was a very favourite Prog House, Trance dj that came to Toronto, and omg was so there, got dropped off by my sister, and omg was rocking out all fuckn night! it was just magical too btw, like i havent been moved like that for a while and to feel such a  beautifull orchestration of music and energy was just an experience of a life-time. BUT the single thing that made me smile looking back tonite was !!! ok when i was walking back to the coat check to get my jacket, someone put their arm on my shoulder and i turned around and the guy said to me ‘Man you are such a good dancer’ . I was really so happy to hear that! it honestly made my day, and I thanked him and then peaced out.

So I tried calling my buddie Gem, who lived only a few blocks away, was gonna crash pad over there, but he didnt pick up for some reason, and LUCKY ME! that i found some people going to Missisauga and some how managed to swing a free ride back home, so like i still had to wake up Aunty Helen, but she’s always kool ;0

Oh btw, it was Hernan Cattaneo.

OK so maybe things didnt go according to plan.. but I still did awesome personally in singles and awesome in doubles with my partner.

So in the first round I was matched up with a Racketlon veteran Hannes, a German, and he was solid player indeed, his specialty was tennis, and when we played I only needed 8 points to win the match, but i only got 6, losing the match by 2 points!! I was pretty bummed out about that but decided to not let it get the best of me, and look forward to the next day.

So we had our first mixed doubles match earlier in the day, and we won that pretty easily, and then shortly after that was my singles consolation match semi finals. (I had a bye), but this was a guy from Montreal and a really competitive guy, and really good at badminton. So he was pretty good at table tennis also, and I beat him 21-14, and then came badminton and just wow he was amazing, i was struggaling to get a racket on the ball, but i did manage to get one point! a cross court smash, that he wasnt even close to! I smashed him in squash, but made a couple mistakes, and going into tennis i needed to beat him by 2 points, which was very doable in my mind. So the whole match through it was pretty even, id be up by a couple points, or he would. Eventually landing up with a scoreline of 19-19, and just wow, my favourite part of the match where everything is on the line for these next couple points, im not sure what it was that stuck in my mind that made me feel completely at ease or what, but i was totally relaxed. He was serving and didnt deal with the pressure that well, with a double fault leaving a score of 19-20 for me, and then i guess feeling a little shaky with his serve he hit a serve that just floated over the net, I smiled and ran up and hit one of my favourite shots a down the line forehand, with the perfect amount of pace on the ball and all he could do was watch it go by Samad wins!! So turning around I realized that everyone in the club was watching this match, and being rained on with cheers and applauses as we walked off the court, the Umpire came up to me and said he was really glad I beat that guy, he was one of those guys that doesnt smile, and is too serious, just not fun! and for some reason the club crowd was loving me!! and a big high five from my partner Ally!!

I won the finals pretty easily, the thing that I liked about the finals was that I beat this table tennis coach in table tennis, and he was furious with himself., just furious!! lol and we actually had to play the guy I beat and his partner that Allison beat in mixed doubles, so we beat them pretty easily too to jump into the finals, eventually losing a heartbreaker by 2 points in the end, this time at 18-18 we couldnt pull it off ;( but another time most definatly.

I got talked into staying around for the Vancouver Island Squash tournament next weekend at the same club, so I re-arranged my flight to suit it, and am looking forward to it quite a bit.

im just thinking to myself, all my loved ones havent heard from me in a while and i thought i would say hello.

I started off saying hello to an old friend, she was very happy to see me and made me feel so cozy again. shortly after I could hear the rain coming down, so i decided to go for a walk, and getting about to the end of my street i thought to myself.. why am i walking lets ride!!

I ran back home to grab my bike, and booked it over to the creek. I drove in the main gate, one of the rare times i have but now that i have a membership it rocks!! i

Just as i was pulling up to a set of picnic tables just off to the side, opened up a rather large field that absolutely lit up completly by a sharp bolt of lightnign right in front of me!! i dropped my bike off and climbed up onto the table for a while, reaching for my bag i grabbed my water and just stood there for a minute just watching the night sky.

A strong gust of wind came along and gave me the signal to move on, and onwards I rode. what an incredible sensation it started to rain, only drops came but it was enough to let me feel it.

Next I came up to the shore line, an elder tree agreed to watch over my bike if i would return one day and tell him about how the world has been changing. He showed me his three children and just as it turns out they were watching the night sky also. I sat down beside the youngest of the 3 and we were so engrossed into watching the night sky shine bright with light, that it was the entire universe. I returned back to the elder and pulled out a snack, i packed a grape fruit earlier and omfg was it evar delicous, it was the most lucious juicy fruit that ive ever had in my life. i sat down on the ground emcompassed by the warmth of the elder i was rejuvinated from the cooler temperature, and I enjoyed that grapefruit so much, i worked my way down to about 1/2 of the fruit left, and i broke it in half. A little snack for someone i thought to myself as i dug a lil hole in the ground and put my peels away.

the sky was lit up with colours that will only ever exist in that moment of time. The wind returned to guide me as it again was time to ride on.

oh k btw, just figured out that computrer problem (xp) i found an old ide kicking around and slotted her in.

I was being engulfed by the forest as I carried on my journey and it was just amazing to feel the energy like that at that moment. I was completley in the heart of the woods now, and I took a stop to meditate here and absorb, resonate with the earth as much as i could.

it was pooring rain down so hard at this point, it was incredible i was just sitting there and not even getting that much wet, pure bliss.

The rain stopped and i knew it was time to go from here. I continued on, and shortly after i came to a clearing that was well light up by the sky. I needed to take a pit stop, and nows my chance i thought, i pulled up beside a tree and started to let it drizzle out. A sharp snap of a twig caught my attention and the sounds of little footsteps coming towards me made me feel a lil funny.

I was still firehosing away and was not ready to stop yet, but the footsteps were closer and closer, and finally i could see it what I was fearing .. the penetrating white lines of hair on black. A skunk, im not really too familiar with behaviour patterns for them but this one was coming closer and closer to me, I made out a shhhhhh’ing sound to try and scare him off, but he started to circle me in a 2m radius ok finally im done pissing!! yes, i grabbed my bag and hopped on my bike fast i couldnt get my pack around my shoulder and it swun back down towards my handle bars, fuck the strap is caught in the wheel as im frantically pedalling away, FUCK the skunk is charging at me as i look back,,k after a nightmare few seconds of trying to get my strap out of my wheel, as the skunk is barrelling down the path at me its only 1m away and i can see its eyes glowing. Finally my strap breaks free of the wheel, with one swift motion i swung my bag over my shoulder mounted my bike and rode off into the woods. before the skunk got me.

wow what a rush, obviously i was creeping in on his home and taking a piss at his tree he prolly wasnt too happy with the idea of someone moving in on his terrotory but whew, it made me laugh so hard after that i was tripping so hard about not getting sprayed by him.

I carried on my way. and for a good while i just biked, no direction or aims, just rode through the darkness as a king and his horse. the woods guided me to the exit and i made my way to the street, i was just crossing the street when i saw a pretty big frog down below, i immediately parked my bike to the side and watched him, i thought to myself id love to hold him, but then part of me thought that would scare him, i watched his throat bulge up and down as he sat there, and as i approached he stopped. BUt at this point i decided that he can feel the energy around him and know there is no dager from me, i grabbed for him, he slipped right through my hands the first couple of grabs but i got him this time,kneeling on the ground i opened up my hand and he jumped right out. My warrior instincts took over at this point and i grabbed him again , and this timei raised my hands up to my eye level, and then i released my grip on him. Excactly as i thought he wouldnt jump out becuase we’re too high, i told him i was sorry for disturbing his peace but i wanted to to touch him. he was responsless to me, and he made me laugh as i knew he wasnt going to budge., I lowered my hands to the ground and he stayed there for a sec, and then with one big leap he jumped into the bushes, off to share his encounter with me to his companions.

I eventually returned to my home, and started to trouble shoot my dads vpn problem, time is running out and i gave my word that i would fix it. Im happy to report that the xp install is about 90^ done now, and the xplite seed worked like a charm, on that spare ide drive that i found kicking. and its like 7:00 now everything working perfect dad is actually eating breaky and lookin foward to a stable VPN.

Love to Live

hehehe, thats exactly what I thought when we were bussin back from the coach station, to my friends flat. So anyways funny story about me gettin there, so just FYI I been travelling for like 3 months already, and I never missed a bus/coach/train/plane as of yet.. hehe, and I had one more booked for Bristol, 12:45 .. and thing is I started playing squash at 10:00 that morning, heavy trainin session with this dood i been hitting with down here., but anyways it was like 11:45 .. ‘just 1 more rally, just one more rally’ .. next this I knew it was 12:20, still had to pack, and print off my tickets.. when i got home.. so u guessed it missed that bloody coach =/. and cuz it was this supersave i had to spend another 8 quid on a ride. so whatever, we got it sorted anyways. ;0

Now .. back to dracula town!! so we talked n shit and it was wikkid to finally meet kr4y! one of the sickest dnb producers in bristol, and omg hes my friend!!! so frieday night we just chilled, shortly after 04:20, matt his flatt mate tossed on some of the olskool beats, mfg .. i remember i just crept into the room cuz the baddest ass toon was on, and saw them playin wii tennis and we played all night, but omg!! wii tennis!!! it is really amazing!!! like so amazing, especially cuz I play tennis and the movements were like sooooooooo like same.

So it was a great time to get to know these guys, there was a couple of ppl over also, and this is like ol skool bristol boys, bristol is like home of dark, full cycle, krust, die and krew, just so u kno. so we chilled more, and eventually looked up a party to check out for sat. Lucky we found one,!!! 2bad mice was headlinin to catch the eye, and from the looks of the gig it seemed like was gonna be a sicko lskool night, there was a nu skool gig up on the room2, but nah, didnt recognize any of those labels except for ram rekkords. heh
so interesting enuf, ram rekkords doods were up on early, and we rolling out some shit .. and i mean like not my kind of shit, so bad! heh, and we kept chekin out the rooms, and the main room was like even gayer. .. like sounded like breaks, house, which was so gay.. soooo gay. anyways, we drank a few and like around 2wo , they switched up, interface and redskin .. wtf .. this shit sounds like dnb, man it just was gg from here. omar is on dnb!!

Ambush, Element, Fission .. just laced it down, there were some wikkid mcs up on it also.. this is like a tight lil club 50 ppl up in r2, so it was nice and intimate!! what a vibe, and i kinda crept up front with the mcs pushin up that vibe, and man, it just kept gettin better, place was off of the hook, fuk forgot his name, think it was Part of Ambush tho, he started to feel what tracks set me off, and started droppin track after track, it was totally insane!! karryn!! yah thats right i was already off my horse and it was pure me!!

so got to meet all the krew, when they were switchin up and at the bar, everyone was so wikkid, couple of them have been played out in Toronto and got some more contacts so it was all wikkid. wish i could show off some of the club and the looks, but sorry guys .. just have to use some imagination

So I think we ended up back at kr4ys at like 06:40 or somethin like that,  and we talked some shit kray passed out and I called everyone I knew from here, and minnie too but everyone was already passed out so no one to talk shit more too =/ even ppl i called 2wice didnt pick up lol .. then passed out till 11:00 .. i had a coach to catch and wasnt really up for missing it again!! heh, so we ate and all that shit, and I was off.

Besides the mad partying, it was amazing to link up with kr4y finally! he was a good hearted kid that hooked me up with some goods when I was half way across the world 5 years ago, and we been in touch since that, and I was so happy to get the invitation out to Bristol, just to be immersed in not only the club stuff, but the hardcore drum and bass culture, a house full up of producers, sound system engineers, and old skoolers, even just when we sat around after 04:20 and talked about parties .. talked about gigs djs, and all those lines and times and rhymes.. drumandbass culture reprezhentin all round the gLoBe !! It just wikkid how evreything I love for, becomes my footsteps, everywhere I have been there has been so much love!!

zen

There are many ways to explain what zen is and before I experienced it I had a pretty sound explanation, now I know it means nothing.
I just returned from the Anataji Monestary which was a 4km hike into the mountains of Hamasaka, what an amazing place, I just wish I had more time to spend with the monks there. I was there for 2.5 days, but every moment added to the experience of a lifetime. Lucky to find one of the rare Zen temples that accept foriegners the head monk here was actually a foriegner.

The stairs.. after reaching the top of the mountain, which was one of the most beautifull hikes in my life, I came to a giant stairway of stone, that led upwards even more so. I couldnt get over the spectacular beauty of the place, I met this Japanese girl on the bus and she also was on her way to stay a few days. We were greeted by some friendly faces in the kitchen area when we first arrived. Got the tour and setup our quarters for the time being. There was 8 people in total, and interestingly enough many of them spoke english, however it didnt really matter much as there was no talking unnecessarily during the whole duration of when i was there.

03:45 was the wake up call for morning saZen (silent sitting). There was a monk running up and down the hall waving a bell, and it was almost like part of my dream waking up ina black room hearing this sound and footsteps, especially in such a foriegn place. saZen started at 04:00 we silently filed into the hall and then we took our place for meditation. I was uncomfortablefor the last part of the hour some tightness in my hips were controlling my thoughts, and I was consumed. there was a 15min walking meditation which was like the slowest walk you could ever imagine, a half a step every 4-5s .. after this, and then we followed that by another 45minutes of saZen which was much better. “STOP IT” yelled the docho-san which scared me so much, and pretty sure evryone else, it was like a slap in the face to wakeup, he was yelling at this one guy that was yawning during the walking meditation steps and i remember that clearly cuz i was looking right at him while he was yawning.lol

Initially I was still in awe, and never felt my seat of power during each of these sittings, and we broke up for breakfast. Now also when we conduct ourselves in the Monestary there is no talking at all, unless its a relative question. and most of the time we could easily follow suit to what others do as that is the way of Zen, to be aware of the surroundings .. to be aware of everything. Meals was like a race, there was a strict code of ettiquette that must be followed, from placing the chopsticks over the miso soup bowl, to the positioning of all the bowls in front of you. and it was imperative that everything must be followed. and how u sat. the chants done before and after every meal, and especialy when there was no snacking in between, and from the hard work inbetween the aura that was created while we waited and chanted reminded myself of how fortunate we are to have this food to eat, this water to drink. The monks that live here grow everything themselves, they have no money for personal possessions, or anything else, they just exist to swim in the wonderfull bliss that life is, right in the heart of the earth away from the maddening cities and tucked away from destructive power of humans .. for now. It was a magical place.

We were all assigned work, and I was paired up with the girls, Tomoyo-san, and Shinako-san. I dont know why but .. it always seems im paired up with girls naturally.. lucky me!!
our task for the morning was to chop firewood for the kitchen, which was small. So we made our way to the barn where the wood was, and we began. At first I was struggling with it using a strange technique I didnt have the flow. The monk came up to me grabbed the axe, and put a new piece of wood up, and showed me. Nara ho di neigh (I understand) I said to myself, and he made his way to continue on with what he had to do. I instantly found the hand of zen, as I watched myself do the rest, and it became a meditation as we silently worked on chopping and placing the wood up on the shelf, we had a tea break, and a lunch break, the lunch break was informal, and we were allowed to eat in the kitchen and not the dining room, however being such a beautifull day I decided to eat outside suprisingly I was the only one who wanted to eat outside which was fine by me, and what a fantastic idea as per usual, I lost the track of time, just being amazed at how beautifull it was up there, there was a distant sound of water coming from the nearby moutain stream. So back into the hall for instructions, this time we were set to harvest buckwheat and Atzuki (sweet beans). Which was so fun, under the blazing sun I went inside to get one of those Trinangle hats and it felt so kool!! like those hats are so good for keeping the sun off, and made me feel like jubei .. kibagami jubei. hehe and again while we worked in silence I found the mind of zen as the work became timeless and a pleasure to be of service.

15:00 officially done work, and time for showering, now this time, waking up so early in the day, kinda played off with my bodys schedule and I didnt have time to take a proper shit, so I wasnt feeling that good about it now, and decided to get it out, I did some yoga thats designed to get it all out and things started moving!! and shortly after took a nice hot shower, and wow just feeling amazing now!! We soon after ate. And this was an intesne meal, I mean, after working all day, we built up somewhat of a hunger for this, and when it came time to chant before we ate, to thank the universe for allowing us to eat, really resonated with me and I could feel the aura around me amoung everyone, the paitence we endured, and then finally .. Ikadakimass !! (Something like lets begin this meal together) after the meal and at the evening tea ceremony I announced that it was a honour to be welcomed into their house and to learn their way of life, and it was my final night here.

An hour and a half later, we began the evening saZen and this is where it got interesting to me, part of the way of zen in saZen is that you sit with your eyes open, and it was different to me, and finally it sat with me .. im not sure about when it was time wise, but I remember just looking at the wall and in my peripheral vision I could swear the lights were dimming and returning to normal, .. I didnt move a CM to check, but I could still see this.. wierd, and then also what was even more interesting I started to hallucinate .. yes thats right, i could see a pair of pants in the wall in front of me .. and there was a pattern of leaves that were around the crotch area.. and they were waving slightly .. like regardless ive felt this sensation before through meditation and it was amazing to be reminded of it once again, I had to close my eyes now to be sure of it, but I did, and wow.. it was there. those colourfull shapes and patterns you see when you take magic mushrooms.. (from what i hear anyways) wow, it still amazes me thinking about it, and I couldnt stop smiling now, this was it.. my seat of power is what I call it also I had tears streaming down my face, my awareness was back at one with every part of my being, I could see everything so clear, and bearing witness to all the love that exists in my life, the people around me, the connection I have with people, the energy in this room, that poor little boy and his family that I sponsor, the faces of time that paved the footsteps in my life. Shortly after .. the sound of the meditation bell rang, and it was time to leave the hall and prepare for bed. wow was it really over??! Honestly it didnt feel like it had been an hour, and I was left with this feeling .. I couldnt stop smiling, and I went into the kitchen for a cup of sencha and then I was outside under the stars..

wow, it was truly incredible out here, just as amazing as it ever had been in my life. we were on a 4km high mountain, so i wrapped myself up in a blanket or 2, and layed there with my tea. Then there it was!! it wasnt the biggest one ive ever seen, that was actually in Australia when me and Karryn were laying there looking at them, im still sad that she didnt see it at the same time, but this night, hehe was ahlg 3/4 that size and that is pretty big so prolly like 6 or 7 dots of stars connected to make a line, thats how big, pretty big eh?!!? after my tea I retired to my room. and stayed for my final night.

The mysteries of Zen revealed themselves to me during my time there. faces of the nameless monks that vibrated throughout the universe as I stepped into their path.. it was a very profound reason that I was here with them, it all was meant to be. I remember on my journey up I was worried abit that I had taken a wrong bus, and I did actually so I was behind schedule by 45min .. but I remember saying to myself that if it was meant to be it will be. and truly it was. The time there didnt give me a chance to think about anything. the time gave me the chance to remember that nothing really matters .. everything that really exists is a preception of

OK, sorry for not updating with my journal from out at sea yet, but I just have to write about tonite as it was a very important night to me., and i’ll update the journal of my reef trip next!

Battles are part of my life, and for me theres nothing more exciting than a battle against someone strong., that can bring out the warrior within me. Tonite it was a battle of squash, ive been playing number 1 position for the A league on the Northern Subburbs squash team, and havent had a challenging match really, I lost a 5 set match the other week, which was dissapointing,,but the level of the player wasnt exciting and although i didnt want to loose, i wasnt really playing my best I thought. but tonite..

He was strong .. I felt the energy the moment I saw him, and I was already excited, the first game he came out strong, and fast, I drew the first blood, but he took the first game quite easily. I walked off the court smiling, and back on again, now the fun starts, I started to move and my spirit force began to take over, I could finally play someone at full strength!! and not hold back, the second game we were level with each other untill about 5/5, a very long crunching ralley now, especially for him, my movement slowed down to my comfort zone, and I was in control, but he didnt give up, I won that ralley, and right then I knew I could do it, I could hear myself screaming inside me .. I CAN. I CAN I CAN. and I went up 6/5, 7/5, 8/5 and then a couple tins by me, and he was at 8/7, oppps i did that again.. heh, i hit a dying length off his serve and then a very steady rally after that to win that game, the next game was 9/5, and by now there was no stopping me, last game was 9/2.

This feeling .. is what i live for, and doing what I love around the world .. is the most amazing feeling. Evrything just attracted into my path here, finding the club, and the people there, it felt just as warm and homely as it does in Canada, squash is a lifestyle and most amazing part of squash is the people that associate with it, everytime I played there I loved the feeling of looking up and seeing everyone in the club watching the match, the love for squash here is just amazing, something that I cant thank myself for.

State of Mind. What a fukkin night, nick i tried my best to capture some of the night, it was .. off the hook. Model T one of the hottest dnb djs in Australia was on earlier in the night, but he set the whole place up for the night, banging selection early on and more than enough to move me, i rode that shit all the way to the darkness that was soon to come.

I lost my voice a little earlier than expected, like midway through Model T’s set, but it wasnt so bad actually cuz it was a smaller club and I didnt have to yell so much anyways Crowd was soooo wikkid and the smaller club made it a lil more intimate on the floor, reminds me of those back in the day parties ^^ And actually there was 1 lil thing that made me feel abit wierded out, at one point this girl was dancin beside me and she bumped me really hard on the hip, and I was gonna say sorry, but first thing that comes out of her mouth was fuck you, so after a thought I was like bitch, fuck you too. And then she kinda just went away and that was the end of it thankfully.

But everyone eles was soo wikkid, and the sets got nice and dark.. sooo dark, and next thing we knew omar is on dnb .. uh oh!!! Breaking out all my original jungalistcal bad boy flow, and always inventing the new steps to go with the new sounds.

Raving across the world .. just incredible how regardless of where you are the energy is the same, and the people that attract to it and are there are so close to home. I love how theres a general kinda style to ppl how they dance and how they set into the drumandbass culture, over here its pretty safe, there was a big support from New Zealand krew over here with the state of mind label, and they were all pure vibes.

So after the party was done, about 05:00ish we chilled out on the streets for a bit, I ran around for a bit lookin for some food, really nice pizza place I eventually found which was top. But then, we did my 2nd most fave thing todo on a night out, AFTER PARTY!!!!! One of Johns good friends Craig was at the club too we hung out inside, and he invited us all over to his place, which was amazing!! I loved this part so much, cuz me and lady sat on the sofa witha blankey and John was playin some amazing Chicane music on the computer, which was PURFECt!! if you never heard chicane before, it’s a chill trance label, and i’ll send a link if u want. and Craig was just on a single sofa beside us, he popped on some strange dvd that seemed to flow with the music that was comin on. These kinda times remind me of when Jay used to take me round Toronto, we’d always after party till about 9:30–10:00 !!

Being with these people .. My heart just echos ripples of love throughout the footsteps in my path, when i feel the love from them for me being there that moment makes me cry, even when i think back on the faces that are in my life. Craig was a really amazing person, he gave me a gift!! and also hes a head chef somewhere and invited me to the restaurant for a free meal!! so im deffo gonna take that up

I think we just decided to get a lil closer to home now, and we moved the after party to Johns now, so we went over to Johns, and i had some of his lovely Marberries and Bannanas we chatted and chilled abit, and I was like in need of sleep with a 17:00 flight comin up to Cairns I kinda needed to get some ZzZzzzzzz. John and karryn went over to Sarahs place to chill with her a bit, shed been out partying but just ended up at a different club, not sure where but sure she had a good time.

I remember waking up shortly to Johns wakeup call, and then Lady and mom and dad came to pick me up.